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A great speech
Friday, August 29, 2008 1:53 AM


The author of The Teenage Textbook (1988) - Adrian Tan, was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.

Life and How to Survive It

"I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable. Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument. Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You're done learning.You've probably been told the big lie that 'Learning is a lifelong process' and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers. The good news is that they're wrong.

The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy. I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people.

But I'm here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life. You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper. Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy.

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average. Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste. If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess.

You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate. Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows. What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over. Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.Work kills. The Japanese have a term 'Karoshi', which means death from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are 'making a living'. No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan 'Arbeit macht frei' was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense. Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway. Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction - probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher. Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don't, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you. Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy. "

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A bowl a bowl...
Saturday, August 02, 2008 1:34 AM


OMG so much has happened since July 19. FOOT, Sz's convo, my convo, sentosa... yada yada. FOOT '08 first bah. Its totally amazing cos i dint expect to go back foot again this yr..let's see, my 4th foot camp. i wasnt a footie so the first time i went was as an SA, den programmer, den GL n this yr back to being an SA again. I cudnt decide whether to go cos dun wana be diao er lang dang for too long. But after the freshies' briefing i totally GOTA come back again (esp since im still unemployed); never seen this many seniors return for camp b4. So heartening to see all the old Ofoes kids come back as SAs this yr, and to see all my old frens, kerui, mickey mouse, renjian, weisi etc.

D1: As usual, day 1 is lyk taking turtle speed to warm up. Totally cant remember cheers, games or wadsoeva UNTIL we join em back at the sch's oritentation. Went mad with the pinky "Octans grand welcome" & BOWL cheer. i think i got it den. All the craziness was activated once we reach Zhang Mei's station. Made KS taunt ZM wit his pinky. Not bad for his first try. Earlier on stupid chong meng even asked me where's my notebook cos last yr i took notes of games+cheers cos my memory bank canot contain. Was trying 2 spread e pinky culture when tanya exclaimed "So unglam!!" *Heart breaks.. den peifen taunt me again. Dam dat bitch!!!
*me, weisi, kang, princess gazing afar

D2: ARGH!! stupid RJ literally threw me out of my own sleeping bag. i only slept for 2 hrs!!! thot wasnt gg to Dragonboat deeeeeeeeeeee. End up i dint wana row but was taunt to do it cos kang & hazel keep on niam niam niam say i come down den gg to zhuo boh. I cant stand being TAUNT!! SO i immediately changed into day 1's stinky gear n hop into the boat. WE bloody won cos our boat was full!! Strong 22 men team. muahahaaa. Quite Tai Go la but hey we won over a free SP: Chengzhi from Dara!!!! After dat had to leave for endau as the advanced team. oh bye bye octans boys and gers. Bus ride to campside was smoooooth. Every1 KO in the bus. I only managed to tok less den 15 mins to peifen b4 we both silently decided to snooze. Was discussing bt the freshies earlier on. hehehe...

*Duno whether u can actually see winston's bulging arms!!

D3: Finally after a good nites' rest we had the chance to go sit on the rocks n enjoy the stream. Jer bought his guitar has was already playing his song attracted him fans - dennis, weisi, jito to sing along side wit his tunes. The rest of us seniors got in n slowly got high with gaming. BECOS its actually prohibited to go into the water, the moment the freshies arrived we had to BREAK UP n rush up to "shore". The bowl was brewing den... Next, lunch den animal game den Gladiator? I thot the game rocks! Felt alot lyk dota... "TACTIC BOMB!". The moment it was freeAfter the game i decided to go down n wash my slippers. The next thing i knew kang n weisi is behind n they juz swing me into the water. FUG!! Den Weisi went down to wash shorts. Hey turns out the rule was loosen and we can ALL go into the water again. SO HORRAY!! EVERY1 DOWN NOW NOW NOW~! But its really omg cos Octans is HUGE!!! The seniors totally outnumbered the kids! cos we have extra seniors to fight against the freshies under the "how many ppl standing up, strip strip strip" game challenge @ endau base camp riverside. The night time cooking compeition was a mad rush!! As usual i was appointed the FEEDER. Ya i think i lyk this feeling of shared food. Everybody eating from the same spoon. Josh was too stressed to eat. The storyline was hilarious. Tat nite peifen, me, gwen, hazel, ching stayed behind for some gers tok. nice~ when to get such chances again, out in the open, all on field chairs?

D4: Today we trek up! brrrrr.......... it was dam cold. Take photo also guys n gers one side each! omg!! haha but gota tok more n see more happenings going on between the freshies emselves. When we came down, as usual i kena ambushed by gan & weisi together. Kang boy why u dint rescue me n left me to their clutches!!! AARGGHH!!!!! hahaha.. HTHT after campfire was a major obstacle cos remembering last yr the total no. of ppl in the circle was only bt...15 max? this yr is lyk nearly twice the size. Im totally taken aback by the energy that the Octans freshies put in. It was DA bomb man to watch em do their cheer fight. TOTALLY high. I think they did a FANTASTIC job to bring together tat 8-9 minutes of non stop lineup in such short notice and that they brought it out as ONE. I always thot it was a pity to see a segregation betwn the boys n the gers thru-out the camp. More cud be done i guess. Haha after bringing daniel n fiona over to castor to get SP when we came back we were bitching n bitching!! A bowl a bowl.. OMg even the most mellow boy Kang was lyk change it the a **** cheer!! *roar of laughter broke out.. I turn around and see the boys playing cards. The girls quietly doing their own chit chatting. Jeremy strums away..

D5: Dam i woke up last. Again. Due to some changes, i was transferred from advanced team to main party. OH i thot its good. Can get more chances to interact wit the freshies. While camping at the kopitiam, we played asshole dai di. After the freshies arrived and ate, i kop rj's RM n bought the freshies some icecream. Muahaha i was totally out of RM den. Thanks Mr Regina Gan!! Thot the freshies was getting along pretty well den. When they were posing for group photos. Thot might as well make em redo their cheer fight dere den they can get to keep the vid too! Personally i juz wanted to see it again cos they look absolutely endearing doing it. Argh!! after that some ppl went to play cards but the rest were practising Wah Ga Li Ya cheer..All squeezed up on a van!!!!! Can see how much they enjoyed doing this.

*one for all, all for one!


*SAs do our own flying stint *Pose n SMILE~

Finally taking bus back to johor!! GAMES TIME ON DA BUS!! Hsien taught em the starfish & bah kwa cheer. Hilarious. The right behind the bus team played "Huat 99, Drinking game, Chi Dong Qiang". Players includes... *mickey mouse, kang, hazel, me, michelle, josh,KS, moo,kj, daniel, winston. Dinner @ johor was settled at a duck shop, something more authentic. Very sorry Diyana!! My mistake. From sheng shiong while waiting for the ride back to sch, new violent slapping games was introduced. On the bus, it was the higher challenge, "Qing Ni Geng Wo Zhe Yang Zhuo" in 8 beats b4 we all merge to play "Ji Niu Nai" and it was a CRAZY ROWDY CROWD!!!! EVERY1 has gone seriously Kuku den. SAVE ME! Den it was Odac Talk. The FF operation we schemed to carry out was practised in vain. Its lyk we're dam losers getting high on our own doing it. CRAPPY!! Celebrated little tanya's burfday back @ the grandstand. Was quite beat den already. Supper was shity. Tat nite i fell aslp on the track in the midst of toking to kang n hazelnut but i was mostly blabbering nonsense, COLD!!!

D6: Slept for another 2hrs only. NOOO!!!!! Canoe polo zai!! Think every1 enjoyed emselves.

*Happy octans. omg did u see KS's pose?!?!!
Played the slapping game with quek, CAT, kang, shiqi, Peifen. Became common enemy with quek n cat. Muz be becos of my GL vibe too strong. Dam the two anyway! Kena whack lyk siao. Later on we switch to the slapping leg game. Despite being showed mercy, i acted GL to kang & slap him dam hard. Aiyah not hard not fun mah!!! ya but in the end my hands got burst veins from WS n QUEK's MASSIVE ATTACKS earlier on. Anyway, too bad FF not in 2day, so i dint wana let our practises goes to waste. I thot we cud translate our anger to video so dat it'll be lyk Ju-On & gets PASSED IT ON>>> haha mostly i juz wanted to see how we look lyk on camera. Cos i thot it was gg to be furni. Oh yeah indeed. But well, wad happens @ camp stays dere. Unless there's a good reason for another round. Later. The freshies den secretly went ahead to plan their skit. At hall 8, saw the most digusting sight. Chengzhi n jovin!!! omg.. hahaha the seniors immediately gathered for more camwhore moments. Finally yali n gang arrived. Tiring day. I thot Octans seriously adored the V bomb cheer due to the ending (o-o-O-O-Octans!). Mickey mouse the orginator is proud that his orgasmic cheer has seen light. So tired i fell aslp under ching's funky cap until it was announced we're the FAMILY FAMILY OG. "Best title to grab", i thot. Hope we did made the freshies feel dat way too. After that did WAH GA LI YA & odac spirit. Bide farewell to the freshies. Princess Awed me yet again with her little letters to the entire freshies n seniors alike: more den 25 in all! Ni you xing le. Supper!!!! den it was back to serious business. Yawnz. KO-ed @ 4+am after i thot my job was done.

*Octans seniors feeling sleeepyy

*Octans'08(sloppy pyjamas)

*Ofoes'07 (BOLLYWOOD)

D7: woke up at 9+am cos was being "LaP-ed" in my sleeping bag again! and dat the sun was shining over me. Another morning on the grandstand. Breakfast @canteen 2 wit Yali, rj, ws, jer,chongmeng, hazel, ching, serene.


End camp thots
OFOES: Im surprised that ppl lyk Calvin quek is lyk zai gia at boh liao games but totally a NEWB @ cheers. Even at the end of camp he's lyk clueless bt the bowl cheer. But he's too cock n furni so he's forgiven and thus downgraded to become "da shit". Peifen totally got the chao ah lian seh (OMFG). She revealed all in the camp this yr. Totally upz. She openly taunt me on D1 with the RARR pinky finger. Hazelnut is mingling around the young ones n working her magic. She looks absolutely FIERCE in the pinky finger pose. Kang also another one, totally all e Guai Lan seh all exposed this yr!! Wad's happening to our hao hao xian shenG?! omg why my freshies all turn out so fine!!! im so proud. I sincerely hoped i played a part in bringing out the devil in them. (**Smiling lyk a mom who's proud of her kids). Now u know how i felt last yr gwenny kena daopok! i think the freshies really love the ur starfish, hsien. Most importantly: To be able to do a camp a 2nd time with you guys is simply priceless to me. Thank you all.

SENIORS: Happy to see so many familar faces including Tam Chong Meng back this yr. Princess, Ching, mickey mouse, weisi, gan.. This yr tung boy finally cried. Last yr he said he cudnt understand so i guess he got it this yr. Dear ruyan, dun be so sad, it may not be ur last camp yet. Glad to see other old birds lyk cheekeong, mark tong, shuhong, shun zhang @ overseas too :)) Special thanks to benji & shiqi for helping to bond the group and it was nice knowing you Chia Zabor!! Next yr i will really be the kind who can only come back on SP nite le..
FRESHIES: I saw dat special sth when u guys did ur cheer fight. And despite saying all the girls n boys dun get along so well thing, i believe some of u did get to know some others beta. We can only spark off wad seem lyk something dat may last for very long. But lyk budding roots, it takes effort to kip it growing strong. Last but not least, im very proud to be an Octans SA and also happy to get the chance to know all of u! :)

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